Sometimes, when I think about what I’m going to tell folks back home after my travels in South Africa are done, I feel anxious. I remember last year people repeatedly asked me, “Did you see animals?” and, though I know it’s silly, I always felt like it was a little disappointing when I replied, “Um. Well, none of the megafauna that people associate with Africa. But I saw some baboons and birds and really cool bugs!”

This year, I’ve spent a lot of the past month and a half doing a lot of just chilling at home, working on personal projects, watching movies and baking and cooking with Julia and Ben (the housemate), going shopping, tidying the house, going for little walks on the beach, &c. I am sometimes overcome with an incredible urge to go out and do something and I explain to Julia, “I don’t want to get back to the States and tell them that I went all the way to South Africa to do more or less exactly what I’d be doing in the U.S.”

To wit, my anxieties: If I had planned my trip a little better, I would be more active. I’d be out doing and seeing new things every day, meeting interesting people, learning and growing in obvious and exciting ways. I’d be hiking and exploring and seeing the country. I’d be doing my part to contribute to the world by volunteering for an awesome organization. In fact, I had hoped and planned to do volunteer work while I was here, but a combination of poor planning, friction in logistics of actually connecting with organizations, anxiety about my inadequacy as a volunteer on a short stay and with limited knowledge and experience¹, and a good dose of inertia, I never got set up to do so. I worry that I came all this way to do nothing.

On the other hand: After thinking about it, I realize that it’s not really true that I am in South Africa doing nothing. I am in South Africa, living as I would be if I were a resident. I adore living in Muizenberg, nestled between the beach of False Bay and the towering Table Mountain National Park. I love Table Mountain. I love that you can see it no matter where you are in Cape Town, the constant reminder that no matter how big human cities get, they’re still dwarfed by the mountains. I’ve been living with the beach and the mountains, commuting on trains and minibus taxis, like a local.

More than that, I am slipping between social contexts: visiting and helping at Ikamva Labantu (where Julia works) and socializing with residents of Khayelitsha² one moment, going wine tasting in Stellenbosch the next, staying in a hostel with tourists and visitors in Cape Town the next. I commute on the train’s third-class (almost exclusively populated by black people) to the coworking technology space Codebridge most days. I’m spending a lot of time talking to Julia about her understanding of South Africa’s history and present. I am getting a first-hand education from multiple perspectives about what race, class, geography, and their intersections mean in South Africa. I am learning about living in a country plagued with more crime than my home country. I am generating thoughts about race, poverty, technology, money, travel³, and doing the most good around the world.

Thoughts and experiences alone are admittedly not going to change the world, but they are me growing and learning and they’re not nothing. There are still things that I wish I had been more effective at doing while I was here, but I’m happy about what I have been able to do and learn so far.

And I’ve still got a few weeks left in South Africa. Julia and I have big plans. I’ll be sure to bring back some pictures and stories.

Ikamva Labantu Senior Club working on crafts in Khayelitsha.

Julia and the Sinovuyo team. Left to right: Julia, Viwe, Andiswa, Nontobeko, Fundiswa, Jamie. Thandi at the bottom.

Wine tasting with Petrus.